Saturday, December 31, 2005

2006

Okay, so everyone is discussing their "next" year in knitting. I'm excited to report that this will be my 2nd year of knitting, which should bring some fun experiences as they will no longer be "newbie" knittings! :-)

I completed enough projects to equal 1 finished object every 2 weeks. That's pretty darn good. Since I'm working full time and now a single mother I don't expect that my finished object number will increase, but I do expect that my quality will improve.

I only have a few goals... they're pretty much done on the fly, by the seat of my pants, after a few drinks.

In 2006 I will:

1. Complete 3 sweaters.
2. Design one of my own patterns. Even if it's something simple and I never publish it.
3. Complete a sucessful lace project.
4. Don't have more than 4 projects on the needles at any one time. Period. I am out of control right now. That's what January's goals will be all about. Finishing projects so I can be caught up to go on with my new year.

Happy new year all. I wish for you as many margaritas as I'm having. And I hope they're as good a quality as the ones I'm having too!

DRINKUP!

***Update***
It is 12:22 am, now officially 2006. Please note the lack of personal goals, ambitions, and new year's resolutions. Right now, in my personal life I feel that I'm too unstable to make those sorts of predictions promises to myself. Who knows if I'll be able to keep them. Each day is different. Some days are so easy I wonder how I thought I ever loved the ex. Then there are some days that think "What was I thinking?" And I know my true feelings lie somewhere in the middle. I still love him. Not the person he IS, but the person I know he can be, and the person I know he wants to be. There are things about him that I hope don't change. But those things are almost insignificant personality quirks and traits that don't really matter in the scheme of things. I try to tell myself everyday that just because I'm a single mother doesn't make me undesireable. Just because I've been through *stuff* (for a lack of a better word) doesn't mean I need to treat all men like they are going to hurt me.

This also means that I can try to be optimistic, but ALSO means that I shouldn't expect that I won't have down days or days when things just seem HARD. And that is okay. I should expect those days, be prepared to endure them just as much as I need to be prepared to say, Enough is enough, today will be a good day. I like these quotes, shamelessly taken from other bloggers:
"I am resolving to embrace what is, to be content" (Moth Heaven)
And...
"When love ends it changes you. Who knows what the changed you will look like or sound like in twelve months time? Who knows what circumstance and happenstance may forever alter?
Just like getting married.
He was just a guy I met one day." (Crazy Aunt Purl)

And if nothing else I can say that I don't regret it. Not for an instant. Not for the heartache, not for the tears, not for the way it changed my life in a way that can never be "fixed." And I don't just say this because "I have a child." I mean, yes, zander is important... but leaving him aside, I would have done this, and I wouldn't regret it even IF I didn't have him. And so for ME, I can say, I don't regret it. I don't regret talking to HIM that day, I don't regret moving to CT and giving up MY dreams to support someone else's. I don't regret anything, because there were some absolutely fantastic moments, and there were some unbelieveable laughs, good times, and good feelings.

I believe in Karma. I believe in Fate. If I hadn't done the things I did I wouldn't be where I was today. And sometimes the view from my paren'ts home is a little gloomy, but let me just tell you about the view from my cubicle, and let me just mention the handsome man who has started to spark something inside of me that I was sure would never be sparked by any man other than my ex. And no, it's not love, and no, it's not infatuation. It's just attraction. As simple as that. I haven't felt that jolt in my stomach in YEARS. And even though, for some strange reason, it feels like I am betraying my ex, it feels good to look across and see him smile at me, or touch my back as he passes through the small aisleways, or the way he greets me when I come in every morning.

I go in everyday, and NO ONE knows the kind of depressed and empty feelings I have at night as I'm waiting for sleep to collect me. Some people are amazed at the lifestyle I lead and the positive outlook I have. I could consider this fooling them, or I could consider it me. I am capable of being that way, I am capable of finding happiness in small moments or tokens, and so I will try to find as many of those moments as I can.

My goal for 2006?
Embrace what is. Be content. Smile. And maybe go on a date.

Posted by Melanie at 8:36 PM 0 comments

Friday, December 30, 2005

Being A Bitch

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.

When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.

Being a bitch means I won’t compromise what’s in my heart.

It means I live my life MY way. It means I won’t allow anyone to step on me.

When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak up against it, I am defined as a bitch.

The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone’s maid, or when I act a little selfish.

It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won’t become anyone else’s idea of what they think I “should” be.

I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. By God, I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!
So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.

You won’t succeed. And if that makes me a bitch, so be it.I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.
Being In Total Control of Herself

Beautiful Intelligent Talented Charming Hell of a Woman

Isn't that something?

By the way... did you know some common English phrases for Brits?


Courtesy of D, the brit, from work:
Jumper= sweater
Pants= Drawers or underwear. So be careful complimenting a brit's pants.
"Knock You Up"= To come by your house... get it, knock, pick you up.
"Blimey"= If you were to say this with an English accent it sounds much like "blow me."

Oh gosh, these guys at work KILL ME! What did I do before them?

Posted by Melanie at 8:51 PM 1 comments

Thursday, December 29, 2005

The Melting Pot's Meltdown

Only 1 more workday until the end of the year. This has caused a TON of chaos in the melting pot. Thing are crazy... there are lots of last minute orders. The product we produce has a turn around time of at least 3-5 days due to the individualized attention each job recieves. So explain to me why people (who know this) wait until the last minute to put in an order and then want it "expidited." Um, yeah, everyone wants their order expidited. Yours doesn't get it!

But with that said, I still love my job. I love the people I work with. Today I took "T" a bottle of Diet Pepsi, because that's his favorite drink, and he's been working 14 hours everyday, and so I thought he could use a little pick-me up. There's a British guy who is just adorable who was the first person who made me feel at home. He's in a department of 3 people and he's the only one that's been here this week. He'll get a hot cup of coffee tomorrow. Then there's another adorable woman who I work directly with. She had a dentist appointment today that caused her to miss work. She was soooo nervous about the appointment. I think she needs a candy bar tomorrow. I feel so good about this job. I feel so wonderful and so suppported and so fantastically guided that it's all I can do to not hug each and every one of these guys and girls on my way in and out of the building. I LOVE MY JOB! :-)

I've even started sharing some of the details of my personal life with people at work. And usually it's to those that have been there, done that. And some of them are close to me in age, and that makes me feel so darn good. And I see men that light up when talking about their children. And one guy that works out in the lab has been through a divorce and has a 4 year old girl and he has his complete shared custody of his child. There are men out there that care, that do the right things, and that think only of their children and families and of bettering their lives. They don't relish in pettiness or bounce child support checks. They would never not talk to their children on Christmas, no matter how "HARD" it is to hear their voice. Being surrounded by these people make me realize that it's okay to have standards, and I don't have to change them, or make excuses for people that don't meet those standards. And when it comes to my son's standards they can NEVER EVER EVER be too high.

I welcome the new year with open arms. Goodbye past mistakes. I'm glad to have learned from you, and I hope that because of you I can grow as a person... as a mother, and as a woman. And for my ex: In the year to come I only wish for you one thing: Karma. May it be as good as it should be, and as bad as it probably will be. And may you learn and grow from it.

Posted by Melanie at 9:42 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Yum

For Christmas I got:

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Andean Silk in Cornflower

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Shine in River
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Sock Memories in Fly Fishing.
(Please see last post for links to this yarn. I'm too lazy.)
Also, note the ball wound center pull balls above. YAY! I have 10 skeins of Rowanspun I needed to wind that I was too lazy to do by hand. No problems now.

Anyway,
There are so many projects on the needles right now and so many I want to start. So I am FORCING myself to work for 30 minutes on an "old" project before I can work on one of my two newer projects (the home sweet home shawl or the river stole).

Today I worked on the Beat Knit Shrug:
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It doesn't look like much, but posting a picture keeps me honest. :-)

And here is Zander and is Grandma. He is trying on his Aunt Erin's Down vest in this picture.
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Posted by Melanie at 9:34 PM 1 comments

Monday, December 26, 2005

Materialism

Since I got married almost 3 years ago Christmas was never a big thing in our home. We set up the tree and "HE" would put up Christmas lights outside, but we never really got into the gift thing because we were so broke. We'd come home for Christmas but the gifts our parents and others got us really just made us feel bad that we couldn't give anything to each other or to them. I remember feeling depressed. I was sure this Christmas would be hard as well. It was. But not nearly as hard as I thought it would be. And part of that reason could be because of all the COOL things I was able to get AND give. And if that makes me materialistic then so F'ing be it! My christmas was filled with LOTS of natural fibers! :-) No pictures yet, but I'm thinking I might add them later if I get the chance.

First, I got a cashmere sweater. I always said that one day when I was rich I'd own a cashmere sweater. Well, I got one. And it's beautiful, and all day yesterday I said, "Nothing can go wrong, I am wearing cashmere."

Second, I got a swift and ball winder. Weeee!!!!! First thing I wound was my Sock Memories in color Fly Fishing for my Home sweet home shawl.

But I also go 8 skeins of Andean Silk in Cornflower for a caplet from Wrap Style.

But that certainly isn't all. I got Shine in River for The leaf Bolero shrug. Although, upon closer inspection of the pattern, I can see that I will be altering the sleeves in the pattern slightly. Is it me or is the shoulder completely big and the wrists completely small and short???

And finally, I got two books: 1,000 sweaters & Last minute knitted gifts.

Aside from that I got a few sweaters and jogging suits, and Zander MADE OUT LIKE A BANDIT. I don't know what in God's name I'm going to do with all of the new toys in this house. They certainly won't fit in my apartment!

Anyway, I completely cheated my monthly goals as I started my sock memories shawl, and I haven't finished my other two goals of getting to the decreases in the pismo hate and/or making progress on an UFO.

But I think January is going to be filled with finishing projects and not starting A SINGLE new one. Hopefully my desire to get the few projects waiting in the wings started will push me to finish a few old projects. (Like the pismo hat, clapotis, lorna's laces socks, brown cardigan, river stole, beat knit shrug, etc.) I'm not saying I'll finish (or even attempt) to finish all of those, but those are all projects around my house in various stages of completion. That's scary!!!

Hope everyone else made out well, I'm constantly checking bloglines in hopes of reading about what other knitters "Scored!"

Posted by Melanie at 1:16 PM 2 comments

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Beginnings & Endings

I finished fixing Uncle Dick's Sock this morning.

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Except I was so excited when I was done I wrapped it right up and didn't take a picture.
Take my word for it. It's done:
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I will take my camera tomorrow and get a picture of him wearing them. And maybe Michelle too, as I made her those blue striped socks a while back.

We had Christmas over on Aunt Peggy's side last night. Marilyn, Tracy, and Aunt Peggy all loved their scarves. (No Camera, no pictures.)

Look what Aunt Peggy and Uncle Ron gave me for Christmas:Image hosted by Photobucket.com
I can't imagine, but I guess they think I'm stressed and going through hard times. ha ha ha.
That book is awesome. I think I will share pieces from it on occassion. There are some entries about mothers going through divorces.

Speaking of said divorce. I ran into a child support payment issue late this week (it is straightened out and I did get my money) but until it was straightened out I needed something to keep my mind off of it.
I cheated my goals:
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Of course, it's lace and doesn't look like much, but I'm doing FANTASTIC. No messups, no rips, etc. It looks great, and it will look great in my new apartment and I'm so happy that it's going well. I'm about 5 rows into the actual ripple lace area, and have successfully completed the beginning set up (which is most of what you see.) I love this pattern. Right now I'm reading it written out. I'm wondering if I should brave the chart.

New beginnings, and endings are welcome. Let's bring in the new year!

MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!

Posted by Melanie at 4:03 PM 1 comments

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The Melting Pot

Okay, so the job I have is at a large international company. We deal in something to assist one of the senses... so I was trying to come up with some charming name about that "sense," but couldn't. Today, it dawned on me. I work smack dab in the middle of the MELTING POT. There is a guy from London, another couple (married) from England, a woman from Yugoslavia, a young woman from Bosnia, another male from Australia. One of the supervisors is a homosexual man, we've got african americans, arab americans, boring little whites like myself. So yeah, many of you are thinking "yeah, so, lots of places are like that." You don't understand. I'm in Kentucky. Land of the free and the hillbillies. I love seeing something different. There are so many different types of people. So when the Director of Operations asked me how I liked my job tonight I wasn't afraid to answer him b/c he's one of the two head honchos, I was able to be enthusiastic and honest and tell him I LOVE IT. No really. I HEART it. I heart the people. I heart the area of business. I love providing people with a product that will better their quality of life. I know that it's new and so that it might be exciting because of that, and maybe it is. But it's like everywhere I look I see an opportunity of growth (for me personally, for me as a professional.) It's more promise than I've ever seen or known in MY life.

What could be better. How else could I possibly end my year on a higher note?
I must go to bed. I have a binder 200+ pages of stuff to learn for my new career path. I will be studying tomorrow. :-)

I hope to post again before the holidays, but if I don't I certainly hope everyone has a super happy holiday/christmas/hanauka/kwanza/new years, etc.

AMEN!

Posted by Melanie at 9:07 PM 0 comments

Christmas Knitting Done

I finished Dad's socks. They're obviously too big for me, but here they are:

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This will probably by my last Finished Object of the year, which means, in my first full year of knitting, I've sucessfully completed 31 projects. Not too bad. Speaking of Finished Objects... I need to update the gallery-- I'll do that after the holidays.

But here are the stats for this one:
Started: Sunday November 6th, 2005
Finished: Wednesday December 21st, 2005
Yarn: Patons Classic Wool- Black- a little more than 1 skein
Needles: size 7 DPNs
Pattern: Cast on 44; 2x2 ribbin for 2"; leg 8"
Knitting Time: 7 hours total, 3.5 hours per sock.
Lesson: none

So what's next? Still need to fix uncle Dick's socks, but can't seem to locate them at the moment, and then I have this:

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This pismo hat. The stitches look a little wonky. This wool hat will definitly need a good blocking after it's done to even out the columns of stitches. I am about 3.25" into the hat, and have to reach 5" before I start decreasing. The idea of 1.75 more inches of k1,p1 ribbing isn't the most appealing thing, but I'd love to get this hat done. Maybe I'll make my #3 goal (Work on and get some progress on an old unfinished object.)to finish the pismo hat. We'll see how I feel about it once I get going on it again!

Back to knitting!

Posted by Melanie at 9:48 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Can you taste it?

Christmas is so close I can taste it. 5 short SHORT days. These are close too though:
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I hope to get them finished tomorrow. Then I'll fix Uncle Dick's socks so I can wrap them up to REGIVE them for Christmas. I gave them to him the first time in October for his birthday, but when his dog chewed a hole in them he sent them back to me for a fix. I think that merits giving them again as a gift, don't you? (Don't worry, I have something else for him too.)

So I started my job yesterday. I have been searching for a cute clever name to call my job. You know how snowball calls her job the paper mines? I need something like this. I certainly don't want to state the name of my company for privacy/job security reasons.

Anyway, Speaking of snowball. May I just take a moment to say how her and Crazy Aunt Purl are just like my tour guides of divorce. Although most of the things I learn from them are depressing-- like how child custody will be a battle for years to come, or how I will not want to celebrate christmas or other such things even a year after the mark of the beginning of the divorce, it's still nice to get a real, not fuzzy view so that I'm prepared. The only thing I haven't been prepared for is to continue to get my heart ripped out time after time after time with the soon-to-be-ex (who, by the way, has been reading this- and so to protect his very last shred of dignity or WHATEVER, will from this point on be referred to as the ex... or whatever other fun term I can coin up, and I'm sure I can come up with a few!) Anyway, I'm a little distracted today. What was I saying? Oh, right, getting my heart ripped out. I almost forgot! OR. SOMETHING.

I continue to think "you know, he has no reason to lie to me anymore- there is no point in him lieing, so I should probably just belive him." Seriously, I realize how stupid that sounds. Seriously. But I guess that's just part of learning to no be vulnerable anymore. But it's like I can continue to catch him in lie after lie after lie, and I guess that's just something I'm going to have to wise up to. I've been trying so hard to be civil for the sake of our son, but I think I'm getting screwed by doing that. I'm not at the point where it's like, "You know what N.? I don't give two shits that you think child support is too high. While you're in the process of trying to decide if you're going to FLY down to Kentucky, pick up zander, rent a car, drive to Tennessee and go to a football game I'm trying to figure out how in the hell I'm going to put diapers on my child's rear end since I will have 3 weeks until I receive my first paycheck from my new job." Must be nice to have the money to fly and rent a vehicle. He makes a fair point in stating that his housing allowance and tax deductions will not be the same next year with the divorce, and that he will be making less money, and he got a re-enlistment bonus which upped his income, but, let's see, how do I say this polietly, um, oh yeah: "WHO FUCKING CARES. WHEN YOUR INCOME CHANGES 15% YOU CAN PAY FOR THE COURT COSTS TO ADJUST CHILD SUPPORT. Oh yeah, and by the way, while I'm ranting and raving, may I just take this moment to say, you are not getting our son every other week when you move down here.... and not because I'm selfish, mean, or a bitch (which I may be) but because I know your motives for this would only be to change the child support amount."
Whew I feel better. And oh yes, soon-to-be-ex. I'm glad you've found someone else. I hope she enjoys the jewelry, and I certainly would like to put a wager on how long until she finds out what a jerk you are. Good luck to you. Rot in hell.

And, thanks for letting me vent. Comments are not necessary. I am not looking for sympathy, I'm just using this blog as my personal therapist. It's much cheaper and is about all that I can afford. I'm off to induldge in some retail therapy!!! I deserve it!

Posted by Melanie at 9:39 AM 2 comments

Monday, December 19, 2005

My Swell Secret Pal

Look what I got from my secret pal:

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I also got some stitch markers and a cute little christmas elf statue (not shown.) I opened up those stitch markers and threw them right into my notions bag. There are also three stitch holders, in different sizes. Look at the tiny one:

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I am thinking this tiny one might come in handy when working the heel flap on socks. I hate how the two needles holding the instep stitches are always in my way. Thanks pal!

I also got 4 skeins of alpaca in brown and blue. Does she know me or does she KNOW me! I'm thinking I'll do a striped scarf or mittens with it. We'll see what sparks my interest. Until then. I'll just pet it when I go into my stash closet! :-)

Anyway, The elf was put on display on the mantel. I was so delighted to receive it, b/c all of my christmas stuff was left in CT with the soon-to-be ex. I will probably receive some of the stuff back next year when he moves to Ohio, but I'm not sure how much of it will bring back memories that I'd rather not relive.

Anyway, speaking of new beginnings:
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I have had a cracing to pick up cross stitch again, but haven't been able to find my stuff from the move, so I bought this very cheap kit the day after thanksgiving. I started it on Sunday the 4th. This is about 30 minutes of string division and 20 minutes of stitching. I hope to work on it about 1 hour per week so that I can hang it in my apartment when I get it. I thought the "explore" statement at the bottom was perfect for me. It will be my mantra.

Posted by Melanie at 10:21 AM 0 comments

New Jobs, Socks, and Divorces

Today is the day. I start my new job. I'm not too worried about it. For 2 months I will be working in customer care covering for a woman on maternity leave. Thereafter Iwill be moved to inventory, which will be my *permanant* position. I say permant in astricks because it is a large company and I intend to kick some major ass and run through the ladder.

Socks. I'm about 1 hour away from completely dad's second sock. Christmas delivery is probable.

Finally, divorces... I got a copy of the petition papers I signed on wednesday. Attached to it is a letter that states there is a hearing next month. When I was at the attorney's office on wednesday I speciffically asked what the next step was. While running through what would happen next she only mentioned a hearing at the end of the divorce process. WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT. And I heard a stat that stated only 8% trust attorneys. I can't image.
UGH.

Posted by Melanie at 9:23 AM 0 comments

Saturday, December 17, 2005

December Goals- Part II

December Goals Part 1:
1. Complete the first of Dad's Socks. No really. I MUST THIS TIME. DONE.
2. Finish Tracy's Multi-directional scarf. DONE.
3. Start Aunt Peggy's Scarf. DONE. Start and finished it.
4. Work on the jaywalker socks. Done. Although I hate squeezing this yarn onto size 0 needles... I may go back up to size ones and put only 5 stitches in between each repeat, so that they're smaller around the leg. We'll see. Right now they're being ignored... it's too close to the holidays.
5. Start December's Block of the Month Block. Done. I'm about 2" into it.

December Goals Part II:
1. Finish Dad's second sock by Christmas. This is probably most of what I'll be working on for the next week.
2. Get to the decreases in the pismo hat.
3. Work on (and get some progress) on an old unfinished object.
4. Start the lace stole (if and only if I complete 1-3).
5. Fix Uncle Dick's sock by Christmas.

And the best news of all as far as goals go: I have a job at the place I interviewed last week. I start on Monday. I accomplished my personal goal of having landed a job before Christmas. WEEEE.

Posted by Melanie at 2:28 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Bad Or Good

You guys are going to begin to think I am bipolar. Good day then bad day, good day then bad day.

Today, we present good day:

I got the job I interviewed for on Friday. Complete with benefits, good pay, a TWO minute drive (yes you heard that right) from my folk's home. 2nd shift hours are less than perfect, but the pay is increased because of it. I am dropping down to one class next semester so that I can focus and get adjusted.
I need to get school done, but I also need to be a mom and keep my sanity.

Anyway, on the knitting front:


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Aunt Peggy's Scarf is completed. yay.

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Dishclothes with Erin's name to match her BRIGHT red kitchen. the 2nd one has since been complete. It's also an "E."

Next up?
This for Erin in pink and black debbie bliss merino DK

Posted by Melanie at 10:44 AM 2 comments

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Reactions

Last night I drove Zander down to his Grandma Linda's in Lexington. A whole weekend to myself... what could be better? Well, a whole weekend to myself where I didn't have an exam to finish and another to prepare for. And well, a whole weekend to myself where Grandma Linda didn't call at 10:30 the next morning. So I hear my cell phone ringing and when I look at the display my heart drops. I know something is wrong. Linda tells me, "He is covered in a rash." This is not a COMPLETE shock to me, as Friday night I saw his cheeks getting kind of pink, but I attributed that to the kid thing where they take their sleeve, run it under their runny nose and then across their cheeks. Lovely. Kids are just so lovely.

Well, a few hours later when Linda arrived at the house I realized he truely was covered in a rash. If I hadn't been so worried about him I would have snapped a picture. Off to Urgent Care (Again). Let me just remind you that I was at the doctor LAST thursday for an ear infection visit. I then took him to the doctor THIS thursday for his 2 year well baby check up, and his flu shot. (Can I just take a moment to pause and tell you that I do NOT enjoy going to doctor's and that I am SOOO over it.) So, none the less, I felt like I was just going to loose it on the way to the doctor this afternoon. I know that Zander is feeling MUCH worse than I am... but I want to take the time to pity myself and say, IT SUCKS FOR ME TOO! I'm the one that has to hold him down when they take blood for lead tests, give flu shots in the leg, take blood for mono tests, and give shots in the BUTT to counter-react the allergic reaction he was having. Yes, allergic reaction. This kid has had IT ALL in the last few months. Let's re-cap. Sinus infection, broncitis, stomach virus, ear infection and now, he is allergic to Amoxicillan. Which is ironic, because he was on the ninth day of his ten day schedule. Guess his body really fought the reaction. Nice try little buddy. So now we're on ANOTHER anti-biotic to continue fighting the ear infection. Another 5 days. Plus we're on benadryl to get rid of the rash. Then after that is over his pediatrician suggested trying a child's claritin for the sniffles/cough/sneezing he hasn't seem to have gotten over in 2 months. My history is a strong one for allergies. Doc says he has a feeling he takes after his mother. And it's a little early for children to show signs of allergies, but he said he's willing to bet he'll be allergic to most of the things I am. YAY.
Doc also says it's time to get testing done on for his speech. Yay again. I'll be sure to do that in my free time. I mean, all the free time I have in between missed work, and doctors, and pharmacy waits, and silly parenting classes I have to take for 2 nights at 3 hours each in January. At the inexpensive cost of $50.00 Yes, please, tell me how to be a parent. Because for 2 years I have done it primarily on my own, and now I'm raising my son, dealing with 5 different illnesses in 44 days, along with pursing a degree in pre-law and working. But really, Boone county Kentucky, could I please pay you to tell me how to raise my son that so that I may get a divorce from my cheating, lieing, filthy, lazy bastard husband?

I had a job interview yesterday. It went well. It lasted for 1.5 hours. I met the head honcho, which I can only imagine to be a big thing. The only problem? It's a 2nd shift job. Zander's daycare closes at 6, I wouldn't get off until 8. Mom has so generously offered to help, but it's just not right. Maybe that'd be okay for a few months, but that is her free time, and I don't want to take that away with making her raise my son. So I asked Nick, "What will your hours be when you transfer here?" "9-6" he replies. In my mind I'm thinking, "Okay, so I could pick Zander up from daycare at 5:50 (that would be my "lunch hour") and I could drop him off at Nick's and then pick him back up on my way home. Since Nick claims that he wants to see Zander every day what could be better? 2 hours every night. Well, nick's response to knowing that he couldn't get there to pick Zander up on time is, "Can't your mom get him?"

Yes, sure Nick, because she's the one that fathered this child...she's the one that brought him into the world, she's the one that said, "it will all be okay." Um, no. So it looks like even if I got the opportunity to do this job I would have to turn it down. Which is a darn shame because it's only 1$ less an hour than I want, it's 5 minutes from my folk's house, it's a large company which gives great opportunity for advancement, and best of all, they have paid holidays, vacations and BENEFITS.

Some days it's just not even worth getting up.

Posted by Melanie at 9:36 PM 4 comments

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Tuesday's Shopping

Shopping? Sure, everyone's doing it. It's the holidays. Shopping for others. Some knitter May even be buying yarn. But the yarn they're buying is most likely For. The. Holidays.

Not me. I had a few hours in between work and my "Block of the Month meething," so I went to Knit On first.

I got:
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size 0 5" long needles... the jaywalkers are bothering me on the long needles. I had a pair of plymouth double pointed bamboos that I had gifted to Kris. I didn't think I liked the shorter needles because they tickled the insides of my hands... but I think it's just plymouth's length. but "sock" double pointed needles are fantastic. If you look in the picture you can see the needles... on my jaywalker socks. Yes, that's all the farther they are... I am about 4 rows past the ribbing. Hopefully I can work on them some tomorrow so that I can post for the KAL update on Friday.

I also got this Merino Oro lace weight yarn. It's so soft. It was a PAIN for the woman to wind... I ended up telling her to cut it at one point b/c it got so tangled. She spent probably 30 minutes winding the yarn. Anyway, see the fiber trends pattern at the top? It's this.
I love River from Rowan, but I don't really want to buy an entire rowan book for that pattern. So this is similiar. I saw it and thought that looks like a great "first lace" project. (Let's not think about how many "First Lace" projects I've attempted. I'm immune.... I can't hear you. Lace? What's lace? I think I'll try it. For the FIRST time.)

The crochet hook is to make this. And I don't even know how to crochet. ha ha. But those things are so cute!

Then, if that wasn't enough, I went to knit wits for the monthly block of the month meeting. I resisted browsing or buying... until I was leaving... then Janet (the owner) told me that the new interweave knits magazine was out. I had mentioned earlier amongst other knitters how I loved the patterns in the fall issue and that there were 2 sweaters in there I hoped to make someday. DAMN IT. So I picked it up and began thumbing through it.

LOOK. AT. THE. SOCKS.
I must make them. Need to get some sock yarn. Solid sock yarn. (If you don't have the magazine yet I will take a picture of the pattern I'm speaking of later.) I'm short on time now.

Then I also scored a pattern for a pair of wrist warmers. I am working in a warehouse right now and it is cold... gloves don't work because you are constantly taking them on and off to write, flip pages, type on the computer, etc... but wrist warmers... yes, they will actually serve a purpose... keep the palms, tops of my hands, and wrists toasty warm.

So... I must finish Aunt Peggy's Scarf and Dad's sock (2nd sock) and then I may cast on my shawl. I will also cast on the wrist warmers. Even though they don't really fit into the schedule this month it will be nice to have them. They are a necessity at the moment.

Then I went home. And I worked on Aunt Peggy's Scarf:
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The pattern is just a simple drop stitch. I'm on the second ball of yarn, but am starting to get bored... which is what I wanted to avoid. The problem is that black wasn't going to let a few of the patterns snow up, and the other patterns were not made for fuzzy yarn. And this yarn is FUZZY:

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Anyway, I guess that's all from me now. I have 2 exams within the next week... one is a take home to be distributed today and the other is an in class exam next wednesday. So I will be sparse until then... unless of course I'm stalling on studying and decide to make a post or two, ha ha.
Hopefully I'll be able to stay on track and will have lots of knitting studying get done, maybe like dad's second sock.

Posted by Melanie at 12:45 PM 2 comments

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

A personal post

Just a quick personal note, I'm excited so I had to stop by and brag to somebody....

First, the bad news: I am no longer working at the real estate agency. The ending there was pretty bad, and I'm astounded at their lack of professionalism-- my maturity level was much higher than theirs and I was the "part time employee." But I'm still upset about it, so I won't go into details... BUT... I'm lucky to have a family that owns a business where I can be employeed if need be. So I'm working there again right now... ANYWAY... good news:


the good news is that I got a call from a company today (a large internationally based company) that has a building RIGHT down the road from my parents home. I had sent a resume to them a few months ago. They weren't hiring, but I just sent them a resume in hopes that they'd maybe file it. They did! :-) And they called. And I'm going to call them back tomorrow! YIPPIE!!!! This could be such a HUGE opportunity for me if I could get in. Even if I worked from the bottom. A large company leaves so much room for growth. And they're SOOO close.... that could mean no more rush hour traffic going into cincinnati in the morning and back into kentucky in the afternoon... etc.
YAY!

Posted by Melanie at 9:51 PM 1 comments

Monday, December 05, 2005

Why I Knit For Others

I was sitting on the couch last night (knitting, of course) and was just minding my own business, mom came out from her room and put her feet up on the table. I saw this:

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Those are my 2nd pair of socks... my mom wears them all the time. And everytime she does, I smile. It made me suddenly glad that I had bored myself for much of the morning finishing this:

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Dad's first sock. I've never had anyone REQUEST for me to knit them something. Except for my dad. He wants these socks. He will have these socks. He will have them on Christmas Morning. :-)

Look what else is done:
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Bad lighting in that picture. He's a better picture. A close up:
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I will be happy to see Tracy in this scarf. By the way... thank you all SOOO much for your opinions on the scarf for my aunt peggy. Unfortuantely NONE of them worked. This yarn was just too fuzzy. But I really didn't want to do stockinette or garter. So I'll show you what I came up with....
.... Next time.

Posted by Melanie at 6:28 PM 2 comments

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Opinions Please

Going to cast on Aunt Peggy's Christmas Scarf today. I love this phenomenal Brushed Alpaca.

Which pattern should I do?

The Berry Stitch?
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Staggered Eyelets:
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Diagonal Crossed Stitch:
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Feather & Fan:
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OR... the zigzag scarf (pattern here)
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Thanks for the help/input!

Posted by Melanie at 9:04 AM 14 comments

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Meme

TEN random things you might not know about me.
1. I like my "undergarments" to be fun happy colors. (That was probably a little TOO much for #1.)
2. I don't like colored Christmas Lights. Only white ones.
3. I like Christmas shopping even though I hate crowds and am claustophobic (sp).
4. I drink 4 diet pepsis a day.
5. I have a "crush" on someone. That sounds SOOO fifth grade, but that's totally what it is.
6. My favorite sport in gym was badmitton.
7. I despise getting up in the morning.
8. I have naturally curly hair.
9. I like chocolate.
10. I don't like having enemies. Even people that don't deserve an ounce of my respect or kindness often receive it.

NINE places I’ve visited:
1. Colorado
2. St. Louis
3. New Orleans
4. Florida
5. St. Kitts
6. St. Thomas
7. San Juan
8. Dale Hollow TN
9. Boston
10. Connecticut.
*That is so lame... furthest out of the country I've been is the outlying islands.

8 Ways to Win My Heart:
1. Flowers
2. Hugs
3. Compliments
4. Yarn- lots of wool.
5. Money
6. Attention given to Zander.
7. A listening Ear & a mouth that gives educated/honest advice.
8. Chocolate.
9. Make me laugh. Really. Laugh.
10. Don't make me cry.

7 Things I Want to Do Before I Die:
1. Win the lottery.
2. Write a book.
3. Take an Alaskan Cruise.
4. Be a SUCCESSFUL single mother.
5. Get my degree.
6. Take some photography classes.
7. Get a tattoo.

6 Things I'm Afraid Of:
1. Forgiving things that shouldn't be forgiven.
2. Passing up something good because of something bad that has happened in my past.
3. Being poor.
4. Failing as a mother.
5. Bugs with more than 4 legs.
6. Small Spaces.

5 Things I Don't like:
1. Divorces. (well, I want the divorce, I just don't like going through it.)
2. Uncomfortable shoes, clothes, or shorts.
3. Being Poor.
4. Being tired at 8pm.
5. Professionals that are unprofessional.

4 Ways to Turn Me Off:
1. Lie.
2. Tell me things about myself that I don't ask to know.
3. Be egotistical.
4. Be unprofessional.

3 Things I do Everyday:
1. Battle with Zander to go to daycare. (okay, so that's only M-F... but it feels like EVERYDAY.)
2. Dream about things that will be.
3. Think about the divorce.

2 Things that make me happy:
1. Zander.
2. Child Support Payments.

1 Thing on my mind right now:
That's a secret, I can't tell you that.

Posted by Melanie at 9:47 PM 1 comments

Multi-Directional Knitting

I've been working on this for about a week (I hope to get it done today and blocked tomorrow) but have yet to show a picture of it.

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This is knit using pattern from the Multi-Directional Group, plymouth Outback wool in color 996, and size 8 needles. I love how it's turning out. 2 more triangles and I'll be ready to do the final right triangle and block it. How fun is that?

My mom is working on her block of the month and has learned (like I did) that manos yarn is very "sticky" and bamboos make for some challenging knitting. I think I have her almost talked into a LYS run tonight. ;-)

That's all for now. I'm back to knitting while Zander is busy with Grandpa.

Posted by Melanie at 3:44 PM 0 comments

Thursday, December 01, 2005

December Goals

I swung over to Kris' blog, and saw that (oh crap) it's December 1st. Time for goals.

November Goals Part II:
1. Start and Complete first 13" square for BLOCK OF THE MONTH CLUB. Done.
2. Finish Bell Sleeve Shrug. Not Done. Time Warped.
3. Work on Dad's Socks. WORK ON THEM. WORK ON THEM. Done. I am about to turn the heel. Dad asked me, "When do I get a pair of socks?" So I must get them done by Christmas.

Which leads me to:

December Goals Part I:
1. Complete the first of Dad's Socks. No really. I MUST THIS TIME.
2. Finish Tracy's Multi-directional scarf.
3. Start Aunt Peggy's Scarf.
4. Work on the jaywalker socks.
5. Start December's Block of the Month Block

In other news I let my boss know today that the job wasn't going to work out, but offered to stay until she found someone else and/or a few days after that until the new person felt comfortable. Then a few hours later Zander's school called. They say, He has a fever, can I come pick him up. Needless to say with the stress I am under right now I completely let the director have it. I said, "I know you're not letting this happen on purpose, but what is going on? This is the 3rd time in 1.5 months that I've been called to come pick him up. He was fine this morning." She said, "I understand." I said, "No, I don't think you do. I now have to leave work, won't get paid, have to pick zander up, take him to the doctor and still pay like he's attending your school." I continued, "I think I will hang up the phone now and come get him before I say anything I might regret, but please understand that something HAS to be done about this." She was silent on the other end. I cried the entire 45 minute drive to pick him up. As a side note, even though I've picked him up from school 3 times he's been sick 4 times. In 6 weeks. Is this normal??? Is there something I'm doing wrong? Is it something the school is doing wrong? I seriously CAN NOT afford to do this anymore. I understand that when you get that many kids together and there are that many toys and hands in the mouth, etc, it happens. What I don't understand is why I have to pay for days when Zander is sick. It's enough that I'm missing work and pissing a boss off, isn't it? I should get a $31.00 refund, or not have to pay for the days he doesn't use. Simple as that. Don't punish me for my child being sick. AND... if they didn't impliment that silly policy then people wouldn't bring their sick children to work with the mentality of "I'm paying for this, they're going to use it."
[reluctantly climbing down off my soap box.]

Anyway, then I call Nick. He has been telling me he's not giving me what the state says is fair child support based on our incomes unless a judge tells him that's what he has to pay. He did come close to it in his offerings, and then says, "And really Melanie, let me know if you need extra money, or something happens or whatever. I'll help you out getting your apartment or whatever Zander needs." So I call him this afternoon. Am going to have to buy anti-biotics, missed 1/2 day of work-- will probably miss tomorrow... and this is after last week when I got the virus zander brought home and missed one day because I was throwing up. This is also after the holiday week in which I didn't work thursday or friday. When I tell him that Zander is sick again and I had to leave work he said, "What do you want me to do about it?" I simply hung up the phone.
It's over. Well, it's been over, but I mean all polietness is over and all thinking that this can be resolved in a [gasp] adult like manner. I'm tired of being the grown up.
I will not be nice and I will not except a penny less than I deserve. If need be I will take it to court and let the judge decide. I have tried being nice, I have tried being friendly. I have listened to him beg for other chances and have offered to be there for him. I can't do it anymore. If the kentucky child support table says I should be getting $*** a month then that's what I'm going to put in the paper work, and if he wants to take it to court then we'll take it to court. I am just SOOOO over it.

Anyway, just remember... there are always things to be positive about. Like this.

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Snow! :-)

Posted by Melanie at 2:21 PM 5 comments