Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Can you taste it?

Christmas is so close I can taste it. 5 short SHORT days. These are close too though:
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I hope to get them finished tomorrow. Then I'll fix Uncle Dick's socks so I can wrap them up to REGIVE them for Christmas. I gave them to him the first time in October for his birthday, but when his dog chewed a hole in them he sent them back to me for a fix. I think that merits giving them again as a gift, don't you? (Don't worry, I have something else for him too.)

So I started my job yesterday. I have been searching for a cute clever name to call my job. You know how snowball calls her job the paper mines? I need something like this. I certainly don't want to state the name of my company for privacy/job security reasons.

Anyway, Speaking of snowball. May I just take a moment to say how her and Crazy Aunt Purl are just like my tour guides of divorce. Although most of the things I learn from them are depressing-- like how child custody will be a battle for years to come, or how I will not want to celebrate christmas or other such things even a year after the mark of the beginning of the divorce, it's still nice to get a real, not fuzzy view so that I'm prepared. The only thing I haven't been prepared for is to continue to get my heart ripped out time after time after time with the soon-to-be-ex (who, by the way, has been reading this- and so to protect his very last shred of dignity or WHATEVER, will from this point on be referred to as the ex... or whatever other fun term I can coin up, and I'm sure I can come up with a few!) Anyway, I'm a little distracted today. What was I saying? Oh, right, getting my heart ripped out. I almost forgot! OR. SOMETHING.

I continue to think "you know, he has no reason to lie to me anymore- there is no point in him lieing, so I should probably just belive him." Seriously, I realize how stupid that sounds. Seriously. But I guess that's just part of learning to no be vulnerable anymore. But it's like I can continue to catch him in lie after lie after lie, and I guess that's just something I'm going to have to wise up to. I've been trying so hard to be civil for the sake of our son, but I think I'm getting screwed by doing that. I'm not at the point where it's like, "You know what N.? I don't give two shits that you think child support is too high. While you're in the process of trying to decide if you're going to FLY down to Kentucky, pick up zander, rent a car, drive to Tennessee and go to a football game I'm trying to figure out how in the hell I'm going to put diapers on my child's rear end since I will have 3 weeks until I receive my first paycheck from my new job." Must be nice to have the money to fly and rent a vehicle. He makes a fair point in stating that his housing allowance and tax deductions will not be the same next year with the divorce, and that he will be making less money, and he got a re-enlistment bonus which upped his income, but, let's see, how do I say this polietly, um, oh yeah: "WHO FUCKING CARES. WHEN YOUR INCOME CHANGES 15% YOU CAN PAY FOR THE COURT COSTS TO ADJUST CHILD SUPPORT. Oh yeah, and by the way, while I'm ranting and raving, may I just take this moment to say, you are not getting our son every other week when you move down here.... and not because I'm selfish, mean, or a bitch (which I may be) but because I know your motives for this would only be to change the child support amount."
Whew I feel better. And oh yes, soon-to-be-ex. I'm glad you've found someone else. I hope she enjoys the jewelry, and I certainly would like to put a wager on how long until she finds out what a jerk you are. Good luck to you. Rot in hell.

And, thanks for letting me vent. Comments are not necessary. I am not looking for sympathy, I'm just using this blog as my personal therapist. It's much cheaper and is about all that I can afford. I'm off to induldge in some retail therapy!!! I deserve it!

Posted by Melanie at 9:39 AM


  1. Blogger Pioggia posted at 9:57 PM  
    Retail therapy AND knitting therapy too! Vent away, that's what blogs are for.
  2. Blogger Kelly D posted at 6:58 PM  
    You go sista!!!!!! i can feel your frustration as i read! You have made the best decision for you and your son! When people show you who they are....believe them!! Blessings to you Mel!

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