Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Wish me luck

Here it is... the next sweater attempt. By goly I'd better get this one done... as I have way too many balls of yarn dedicated to "sweaters" to mess this up.

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My crappy sweater drawing and notes. Not anywhere near as cute as Eunny's. ;o)

I know I'll get bored with the stockinette so I'll try to get one more project that's a little more challenging, whether it be fair isle socks or lace so that I have something to keep my sanity.

On a personal note, I haven't talked about my divorce lately. I'm pretty sure the ex no longer reads this blog, but even if he does, this is nothing he doesn't know.
Today was the last day I could have him served to keep my (3rd attempted) court date for custody and child support. He has again managed to avoid getting served. This doesn't shock me. I am no longer suprised by his "moves." And I certainly have been pretty successful in not letting it bother me. There is nothing I can do. It is out of my hands. As far as I understand it the JAG on base is upset with him as THE EX is clearly avoiding him. That has to be making THE EX's life a living hell to avoid the JAG. THE JAG FOR GOD'S SAKE. THE EX probably feels like a snake in the corner. It must suck to have to work that HARD to hide. What a way to live life.

My uncle once fired a guy for not pulling his weight. After my uncle fired this guy (we'll call him Bob) Bob's friend came up to my uncle and said, "I'm glad you let Bob go. He told me a few days that he had managed to hide in the John for 3 hours in one day." When my uncle told me this I laughed. It's much harder to hide from your boss and from your work than it is to just DO IT. And I guess if THE EX is happy then so be it.
I'm just happy at this point with knowing that I'm kicking ass at work and am (hopefully) working my way towards an employee of the month award. I'm happy knowing that I'm chipping away at my degree. I'm happy knowing that my son is growing and glowing and that he loves me with the strength of the two parents I'm being. I'm happy with my meditation (knitting) and I'm happy with simple conversations with cute boys.

I'm studying Zen right now in my philsophy class... it's really hitting me hard in the interest category. I think I will do some independent study on it eventually. Until then... I leave you with this:

"When you expect something, when you aim at something, right there you dilute your energy; you split your energy, you split your attention and it becomes more than the place of yin and yang. You do not only divide, but you create the problem."
- Taizan Maezumi

"If you understand, things are just as they are... If you do not understand, things are just as they are...."
- Zen Saying

"If you cannot find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?"
- Dogen Zenji

Posted by Melanie at 10:25 PM

2 Comments

  1. Blogger Kathy posted at 1:11 AM  
    I'm so glad you're doing so well! This quote isn't based in Zen, but it's helped me in the past couple of years: "Wherever you go, there you are."
  2. Blogger Ruinwen posted at 5:30 AM  
    I'm glad to see you life is coming together again and you are the one with the power now!

    I also love the healing color of your latest project; a very calming green.

    Ruinwen
    :)

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